Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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