Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
