you guys were way drunker than both of me
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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