i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
