Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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