dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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