I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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