laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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