You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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