just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
