I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I am naked and annoyed.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
