Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
