I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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