just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
