i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
