The maid of honor just puked.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
