new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
