Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
