batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
