you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
