Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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