her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Randomize
