I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
