I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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