i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
