she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
