We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
