I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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