We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
