I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
