he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
