Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
