I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
babies were throwing up all over the place
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
