Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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