so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
