i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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