Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
