Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Randomize
