True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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