I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
