Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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