chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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