please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
