Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
