Please, let me fuck your mom
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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