Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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