I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
