How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
