she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
