At least make sure they are 18
Why
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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