Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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