let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
